Ms. Archana, do you know what
is the most beautiful thing in our country?
Joint family. Yes. All of us have seen
almost three generations. And few fortunate ones
have seen four generations. This calls for
a huge round of applause. – Yes. As our generation
keep changing even the generation of
the movies also change. You observe the way how love was shown in
the movies of the 60’s. Hero and heroine never
used to make eye contact. Yes.
– Heroine never used to make eye contact because of shyness. She used to keep fidgeting
with her veil like this. She never used to make eye
contact because of shyness and the hero,
because of fear. – Why? He keeps talking to her looking
in some other direction. Isn’t it? Earlier, they never used
to make even eye contact. After that, times changed. They started speaking
with their eyes. – Is it? So many songs
were made on eyes. And now the times are
exactly opposite of that. Now, they don’t care to
make any eye contact. They directly start smooching. The hero and heroine
will be smooching but those watching the movie will be feeling
very awkward. Basically,
things are the same. Only the ways they
convey their love have changed. You must see how the action
scenes are in the old movies. For many years we
used to believe that when you punch someone
it makes the sound ‘dishum’. ‘Dishum!’ When the hero used to punch
we would hear ‘dishum’ sound. When the kids used to
fight in the colony.. – Yes. …even they too used to make
‘dishum’ sound when they hit someone. With one hand they would
hit and with the other they would be
holding their shorts. Now, we have realised that
a punch doesn’t make any sound. Actually, a slap makes a sound. We wouldn’t have come to know
that if we hadn’t got married. Now a days, it is
the age of multiplexes. Thousands of people sit
and watch movies together. In olden days,
they used to play movies using a projector in villages. They used to play movies
on a bedsheet from a projector. Some people used to come in
tractors to watch the movie. They used to sit in the tractor
itself and watch the movie. For those people who watched the
movie sitting in the tractor Mr. Bachchan used to
appear one feet shorter. And for those who used to
watch sitting on the ground Mr. Bachchan used to appear
eight feet tall. The bedsheet which
was used as screen would be the same
one which was used during the wedding
of the village Head. At times, there would
be a yellow stain on it if some curry had spilled on it. When the hero’s image
used to come to that spot then the hero used
to look yellow and it used to be the same case
with the villain and the heroine also. That’s how people used to watch
movies during those times. Lovely. In old movies, most of the
villains used to be dacoits. They used come on
horses and loot people and then return to the forest. After that the villains
got a bit updated. They started
having their dens. For instance,
Shakal’s den Mogambo’s den. You had even danced
in one of the villain Kancha Cheena’s den. But see the villains in
the movies these days they have six packs.
For instance, Sonu Sood. Yes. – Heroine herself
tells the villain to kidnap her if
the hero is late. That she will handle him. The atmosphere has changed. In movies, the attitude of
the hero also has changed. In old movies, if a hero
got stabbed he used to believe that
he will definitely die. – Yes. So, he used to start saying
the last words of his life. He tells his mom
that he is dying. He tells her to
sell the farm land and get his sister married.
And tells her to take Rs.35 which he had hidden in the
tea powder container. And then he dies. After that,
times changed a bit. The hero never
used to die even if someone stabbed him
with a dagger in the back. He used to stand like this. He himself used to
pull out the dagger. – Yes. And used to yell at the
person who had stabbed him! The hero would remove
the knife and say ‘You coward’. ‘You stabbed me in the back.’ ‘I shall kill you.’ The villain used to die
but the hero would stand tall. There’s a drastic change
in the attitude. You can determine the number
of generations living in a house by looking at the clothes
in the clothes line. If loincloths, boxer shorts and briefs are drying
on the clothes line.. We can assume, three generations
are living in that house. Three generations.. It’s quite simple. The loincloth belongs
to the grandfather. The boxer shorts belongs
to his son and the briefs belongs
to the grandson. There’s a drastic change
in the way the blessings were sought by touching the feet
over the three generations. Our grandfathers used to touch
the feet of their elders and give them a massage.
They would greet their elders and seek their blessings. The generation after that.. They wouldn’t touch the feet
of their elders. They would bow down and greet. They just greet and their hands
don’t touch the knees as well. The people of third generation
place the hand on the chest and greet the elders. Some elders get enraged. They reprimand the youngsters
and ask them to touch the feet. On a phone call one can easily tell which
generation a person belongs. If a child answers,
he blabbers.. ‘Dad is in the bathroom.’ If a mother answers
the phone.. If the wife answers the call
she wouldn’t say ‘bathroom’. She talks in a sophisticated
manner. ‘He’s a little busy.
Please call later.’ – Okay. If a grandmother
answers the call she will reveal every detail. ‘Rajendra Prasad..
Raju is in the latrine.’ She will reveal the address
and all the details as well. The elderly folks do not care. During the olden days
the family members would wait for the head of the family
during the mealtimes. That’s not the trend anymore. The children do not care
if their father is home. They wait for the pizza
to get delivered. Even if their father returns
late, they do not care. If the pizza delivery is delayed
by five minutes they reprimand the delivery guy. ‘You are so late!’ They rebuke the delivery guy
in such a manner that their life depended on him. ‘My son ate the pillow
while he was waiting for you!’ ‘He has swallowed the pillow.’ ‘How will he take it out now?’ When there are three generations
living in a house the inflation is compared
in this manner. ‘In the days of my youth,
a kilo ghee used to Rs. 10.’ His son retorts ‘It used to cost
Rs. 500 during my days.’ The grandson
from the third generation says.. ‘It costs Rs. 1000 now.
Use it judiciously.’ Middle-class people compare
the prices of ghee. The rich people compare
the prices of gold. There’s a class of people
who compare the prices of cataract. Grandfather’s eye treatment
costed only Rs. 25 during those days.
– Okay.. My father’s eye treatment
costed Rs. 10,000. And now, the treatment costs
Rs. 25,000 and it’s ineffective. People have various analogies
of inflation.. In big families when a new
daughter-in-law comes, they gift her a gold bracelet. The bracelet gets passed on
from the mother-in-law who had inherited the bracelet
from her mother-in-law. The people who are rich,
they pass on gold bracelet. In my family,
karahis used to be presented. ‘Dear, your grandma used to
cook in this karahi.’ – I see.. ‘Your mother-in-law has cooked
in this karahi.’ – Okay.. ‘In the future, your
daughter-in-law shall use this.’ There comes a generation
who has addiction problems. They sell the karahi
and buy alcohol. During the olden days our grandparents used ghee to
light the lamps during Diwali. The generation after that
used oil to light lamps and then candles were used
by their successors. And now, electric lamps
are being used. You know, the lamps
which were lit by ghee they were very dangerous.
– Why? The grandfathers used to apply
the excess ghee to their hair while lighting the lamp. If a kid released a cracker,
the ghee used to catch fire. The grandfather would end up
burning all of his hair. In the previous generations..
– Yes.. People used to get happy
when they had more guests. It was considered as a blessing
to have guests over. And now, if a person
comes over uninvited the spouses quarrel
with each other, in private. ‘Mishra is such an idiot.’ ‘He brought his children.
They’re so ill-mannered.’ ‘His child pulled the string
of your father’s pyjama.’ ‘Thank God, your father
was lying down.’ Oh, God! – The people
of previous generations used to plant tulsi plants
at their homes. The generation after them,
they used to plant money plants. The people in this generation
plant cactus because they have less space. If they pricked by the cactus the paste made from the tulsi leaves is used to
treat the bruise. Elderly people used to suggest
a lot of remedies. Mr. Das has one remedy
for every illness. – What? For headache and stomachache he suggests, mustard oil
busy be applied on the naval. He has applied so much oil
on his naval that his naval become droopy. Our grandparents
have suggested remedies, right? For example.. Drinking turmeric
infused milk for injuries. A warm iron key
has to be rubbed in order to treat a bee sting. I am sure your grandparents
have suggested remedies as well. You can share
some useful remedies. Does anyone want to share
the remedies? Yes, sir. Hello, Kapil.
Hello, ma’am. Hello.
– Hello. Mr. Kapil, we love you.
– Thank you.. You’re doing a noble job
and you’re making India laugh and smile.
– Thank you. There are many.. Thank you..
Thank you so much. Where are you from?
– Sir, I live in Indore. I served 32 years
in the Indian Air Force. Oh!
– I see. Wow! Sir, talking about
the remedies.. – Yes.. I would like to share a remedy.
– Yes, sir. Our neck gets sprained
when we sleep walk or play.
– Yes, that’s right. It’s very painful and uncomfortable.
– Yes.. So, my grandma said that
no medication in the world can cure this problem.
– Okay. – She told me to follow her advice right away
which will cure it instantly. Okay.
– She told me to chant my mother’s and uncle’s name and rub my neck
against the main doorjamb. It was a weird advice.
And you have to do it when no one’s watching you.
– When no one is watching.. Why? Do you have to do it naked? It means..
Do you know the logic behind it? Sir, actually, it should be done
either in morning or evening so that no one sees you.
– No one should see you. – Okay. No one should see you. – No one
should see you. – That’s right. I’m hearing this
for the first time. After listening to it, I can
visualise many fellow citizens rubbing themselves against..
– Imagine! – …the doorjamb. Also, they must take care
not to be seen. – Yes. No one should see you.
– No, sir, let me.. Actually, do you know
why the grandmas advised so? Well, if you are cured,
it’s good. And if you aren’t then what’s harm?
No one saw you! Exactly! – Thank you
for coming to the show. Does anyone else wish to share
their grandma’s home remedies? Yes, ma’am. Mr. Kapil, you are doing
a super job. – Thanks, babe. Okay. Mr. Kapil, usually, grandmas
give advice to cure ailments but mine gave me a tip
on how to fall ill. Why? – Why?
– Actually we studied in a boarding school
since we were kids. – Okay. After the summer vacations,
the school would reopen in June. But we didn’t feel like
going back to hostel. – Okay. So, grandma would support us
staying back. – I see. Out of love.
– Yes, out of love. So, she told me to put an onion under my armpit all night long. Yes, I have heard this one.
– Yes. Did it really induce fever?
– No, I put an onion the whole night but I didn’t
have a fever. Nothing happened. I think, it wasn’t the fever but
the teacher would chase you away because of the bad odour. Then she told me to inhale snuff
which will induce sneezing. Okay.
– Then I started sneezing and she convinced my parents.. Mere sneezing won’t
get you to stay home. – No she convinced my parents that
I was showing symptoms and may fall sick.
– Okay. – Okay. She told them to let me stay
for a week and send me later. Anyway, if you sneeze a lot,
the teacher will send you home. No.. – If you sneeze
in her face, it gets painted. What’s your name, ma’am?
– Varsha. Thank you, Varsha, for coming to
our show. – Thank you so much. Does anyone else want to
share some tips? Yes, ma’am? Hello, Mr. Kapil. – Hello!
– Hello, ma’am – Hi! I’m Pinky Shah, from Santa Cruz!
– Okay. – Okay. Welcome, Pinky.
– My grandma always used to say that if your tummy is upset or if you have loose motions.. Then go to the toilet.
– No.. Then go to the kitchen..
– Kitchen? – Kitchen? And the open the box of spices.
– Okay. Take the fine mustard seeds..
– Mustard seeds. – Yes. Consume a spoonful of it
with water. – Okay. Next morning,
everything will stop! Next morning?
What about the night troubles? No, night.. It will be cured at night.. Mustard seeds are those
little yellow seeds, right? The uneasy feeling in your tummy
will gradually go away at night. I see. Wow!
– I have always followed it. Have you tested it?
– Yes. – Very good. It’s a good advice.
– You too try it.. I will, when something
goes wrong. – Sure.. I’ve heard, if you scatter the
seeds on the ground, it grows. Right, they do.
– Yes. Is that right?
– Yes. Thank you for sharing
such a good home remedy. Thank you, Ms. Pinky.
– Thank you. Anyone else willing to share? Yes, sir. Hello, Kapil.
– Hello, sir! We are a big fan of yours!
– Thank you, sir. Sir, I was suffering from
jaundice. My grandma told me to see a priest to
ward off the evil. – Then? Then I visit a priest and he
did a ritual with the broom. So, were you cured?
– No, I wasn’t. But it grew worse.
– Yes, it did. Then? – After doing that for
seven days, when I went to see the doctor, he said that
it had become serious and I should be hospitalised.
And that there is nothing else that can cure me.
– So, grandma’s advised flopped. Yes, so.. – Then didn’t you ask
her after you got discharged? I did. She said that the priest
might be a rookie. Gosh!
– And he didn’t do a good job. I would have been cured
in a week. But it took me two months and
an expense of Rs. 1.5 to 2 lakh to recover.
– Oh! So, my experience says that you may go to a priest or sage but do consult a doctor once.
– Definitely, you should. It cost him a lot of money
to become a doctor. But a sage.. Well, if you
don’t bath or shave for a week you will look like one! Right? True. – If they could
really cure people they would be
a wealthy businessman. They hit people with brooms. Thank you.
– Thank you. Anyone else?
Yes? Hello, Mr. Kapil. – Hello,
how are you? – Hello, ma’am. I’m from Nasik,
my name is Rasika. I’m a doctor by profession.
– I see, wow! – Wow! Ma’am,
what is your specialisation? You make people laugh
and we help make their smiles beautiful. You’re a dentist?
Wow. – Yes. Some medicines work
and some don’t. Do doctors believe
in superstitions? No way,
the question doesn’t arise. I would recommend everyone to see a doctor
for your problems. If you have a toothache,
you may chew a clove. It’ll give you temporary relief. But if you have to save
your tooth You need a doctor. So, be wise and go to a doctor. She took the example
of a toothache. – Right. ‘See a dentist..’ She named her profession.
– No.. My sister-in-law is with me and she’s a gynaecologist. And she.. – Hello. Please give me your card
before you leave. Let me speak
to your sister-in-law. Hello.. – Hello, ma’am. Hello, sir. Hello, ma’am. How are you?
– I’m fine. Where do you practice?
– Aurangabad, Maharashtra. Okay.. I’m asking this
just out of curiosity. How many cases do you get.. How many babies do you deliver
in a day? Not so many
in private.. More people are going to government hospitals
nowadays. – Why so? The government has come up with many free schemes.
– Such as? Such as ‘Suraksha Yojana’
and other such schemes. That’s nice to know.
We’d never have known.. Very nice.. Ma’am, since you’re here please give some tips for pregnant women. So something.. No.. What they should eat and how they should work out. Well..
– They might listen to you. I see! They should eat nutritious food and sleep well,
for about eight hours. And they should do proper
pre-natal exercises. Rest is most important. They should be stress free
and rest.. Yes, being stress free
is important. Husbands should stress
the wives out. Ms. Archana,
when your wife was pregnant.. Sorry! Ma’am, I love you. Anyway, it’s so nice to have you and your sister-in-law here
with us. You’re both doctors. Such sisters-in-law never fight. They’re both busy
with their clinics. Those who stay home all day.. My husband is a doctor too. Wow, that’s great! So, when you celebrate
a birthday in the family.. – Yes? Do you cut a cake
or do surgeries? We do a surgery. But how many.. There must be more doctors in the family, right?
– Yes. In the whole family,
there are about 10-12 doctors. – Wow!
– Great! It was nice talking to you. Thank you so much for coming
on our show. Thank you. Our guest tonight
is very special. So, he requested me
to escort him here since he doesn’t know
his way around. So, you;re going?
– Yes, I’ll be back with him but you all don’t go anywhere. Thank you so much, guys.. Whoa! Ms. Archana,
tonight we’ll be having a guest on our show who is a frequent visitor.
– I see! I really like him and I think, he likes me
a bit too much. This is his third visit
in the last five months. With a huge round of applause I’d like to invite
the lead actor of ‘Bala’ Ayushmann Khurrana! Whoa! A huge round of applause for Ayushmann Khurrana! Thank you. – Lovely! A very warm welcome to you. Thank you.. You were saying something,
Ms. Archana? Lovely! I said, lovely. Lovely.
– You’ve never said that to me. Am I not lovely? Now? Nice shoes, Kapil. Oh thanks, pal! The credit goes to Salman Khan. Ayushmann, many congratulations.
– Thank you. Congratulations for
all your future movies. They’ll all do very well
anyway. A huge round of applause
for Ayushmann Khurrana. There are two people
in this world who are very lucky. One is Ayushmann,
who makes a fortune from making people laugh and the other makes a fortune from laughing. You all know that Ayushmann
has delivered six superhit films back to back. ‘Bareilly ki Barfi’,
‘Shubh Mangal Savdhaan’ ‘Badhaai ho’, ‘Andha Dhun’,
‘Article 15 and ‘Dream Girl’. Oh, wow!
– He deserves applause! For one movie to be a hit
is a big thing and you’ve delivered six
back to back. Someone was saying this outside. Ayushmann is such a big star that he’s hired Akshay Kumar
for promoting ‘Bala’. No, seriously! Because.. The issue ‘Bala’ deals with is something many people
will relate to. So, how did you prepare yourself for this movie. The preparation..
You see, the movie is not just about baldness. It’s about self love. It’s important to
accept yourself. – Yes. You might have a complex but you shouldn’t lose
confidence and stay away from complexes. That’s the message
we’re trying to convey. What a beautiful message! Now, it’s time to call upon two more beautiful actors
from the cast. Please welcome,
the very charming and very talented girls Yami Gautam and Bhumi Pednekar. Yami, Bhumi, a very warm welcome
to you. Thank you.
– You both look lovely! You too.
– Wow! As always. And I noticed you when you were shaking a leg
with Ayushmann. You’re very talented. I was looking only at you. I purposely don’t dance
in public. I want to avoid too
much attention. I wanted to say, “No, Kapil..” Why are you doing this? Take a picture, will you? What are you doing?
You missed the photo op! Let me tell you this
about Bhumi. She’s the
female Ayushmann Khurrana. She’s been delivering hits
back to back and making
back to back appearances on The Kapil Sharma Show. So, I’d like to ask her who’d you give the credit
for your success to? The Kapil Sharma Show! Thanks! When a person is in luck he finds good subjects. Yami on one arm,
Bhumi on the other! Mr. Khurana’s son
is doing well for himself. He’s after you now. Yami and Bhumi we always invite you
to the show you should invite us
to your movie too. I was discussing this
with Mr. Ayushmann. Okay.
– I mean.. I am free expect
Saturdays and Sundays. We will call you for sure
in a few weeks. Thank you so much. I think Ayushmann
should book a room here. You give him
that room. That room. Give me this one. We will stay here.
– You have to share with Akshay. He stays here too. So, why don’t you give them
your room? My room is this. I sleep here below the table. She is so scared now that she sleeps
on the couch at night. Yes, I hope
nobody takes my chair again. Again? Ms. Archana, you look
pretty tonight. Thank you. What are you going
to say after this? So, you cannot believe that I can appreciate you?
– Absolutely not. Your comments are always like
‘You look beautiful’ ‘but your shoulders
are like a wrestler’s shoulder.’ Ms. Archana, I love you
a lot. I was just 30 years
late in taking birth. And I know now there is no chance
you’re out of my league. So, I keep cracking jokes but otherwise Ms. Archana
is so talented. She drives a truck
on her own. It’s not easy. Crazy! If she has a flat tire she holds it on her shoulders. And changes it herself. Please clap for Ms. Archana. Bhumi, Yami and Ayushmann,
please take a seat. Welcome to the show. Bhumi, you came here
the last time with Tapsee
and two shooter grannies. Yes.
– This time with them. Can’t we ever meet alone? I mean, I was just asking. Just like that.
– I don’t have much free time. This is my sixth movie
of the year. I am dying. Six movie in a year? This is your sixth movie?
Wow! Thank you.
– You shouldn’t reject the Brahmins directly.
They get upset. But jokes apart, Bhumi congratulation for the movie
‘Saand Ki Aankh’. Thank you.
– You’re being praised. Everybody knows that Yami and Ayushmann did their debut movie
together. Superb. And Bhumi’s first movie
was with Ayushmann too Which was also fabulous. Now you can assume that after working with you both
this man has become bald. Now please leave him alone. Okay, Yami and Bhumi what sort of setting
do you have with Ayushmann in the movie? I mean..
– Setting? Thank you for mentioning that. Yami and him have an affair but I keep destroying it. I don’t know what problem
I have with Ayushmann. I am after his life.
– We are childhood friends in the movie.
– Okay. But more than a friend
we are nemesis. Okay.
– We fight more and anyway.. And her of course
she is my love interest. And she is spoiling that.
– Hate interest. Yeah.
– So, there’s a type of girl who you love..
– Yeah. And one is her friend
who is not interested herself and neither does she lets
her friend be interested. Which one were you
in college? What do you think? I told you I am doctor
who treats heart. My blood pressure
has been rising since that day. Since the time
you told us that. Then you must have become
a heart patient. I have been a heart patient
since a real long time she took too much time
to become a doctor. I have broken so many hearts
that I had to become a doctor. You understand now. If I become a girl
in my next life I am going too..
– Fire. I am not going
to say no to anybody. I mean.. I mean to say.. I mean.. Sorry.
What I meant was that.. Ayushmann..
– Yeah, carry on. I am saying
that if any boy proposes me.. So, do you say no
as a boy? No, nobody asks me out. You don’t say no, right? So, there is no change
that means. Yes, I agree.
– Be it a girl or a boy there is no gender difference.
– Exactly! He doesn’t say no
even after being a boy.. “To give yourself to someone
who smiles.” Great!
– “To share someone’s pain” Something in between. “This is what life is about.”
– “Life is about.” What’s wrong with Kapil today? He is showering Ms. Archana
with so much love. Now, the problem is
you guys shoot the movie at different locations. We shoot here only.
My uncle and I. I mean, Ms. Archana
and I. Look at that, man! Bhumi Pednekar in the house! Whoa.. Yami Gautam in the house.
– Whoa! Akshay Kumar in the house! Hey! That’s Ayushmann,
not Akshay Kumar. I know that, pal. But the dishes from
the success party of ‘Dream Girl’ aren’t clean yet and he’s here to promote
his next movie. So far only Akshay Kumar
has been able to do that. And now, he’s doing it. Akshay! I like it! Ms. Bhumi.
– Yes? You were here the other day. Yes, I was. Archana had hardly got home with the leftovers from
your vanity van and you’re back already? You’re back so soon! Ms. Yami, do you know why Ms. Archana takes home
leftovers from here? Why? – Because the
food is very ‘Yami’. By the way, Ms. Bhumi. Yes?
– Mr. Ayushmann I have some advice for you. Advice..
– Advice. Like advice.
– Okay. In future, you should work
with him. With whom? That guy, Rao.. Rajkumar Rao? No.. Wait.. You should take it easy. What’s the hurry?
Just chill, man! I’ll be very honest,
Mr. Ayushmann. When I go to watch your movies the promo played at the interval is also your movie. You’re there in the ad films played in between too. I’m scared to buy popcorn lest you pop out of the tub
of popcorn too. Wow, pal! It’s really cool? But Ms. Bhumi and Mr. Ayushmann I challenge all your
forthcoming movies to come and face me. Why? – They all come
back to back. That’s a good thing,
people like them. No, if they liked Ms. Bhumi she’d be married by now. Where did the topic
of her marriage come from? Yes. – It happens in India. Recently, a guy liked my cousin so they got married.
– Right! In India, you can get married
to a person you like. In India, this is a.. What do you call it? Son’s car. Sorry? ‘Sanskaar’,
as in traditional belief. Oh, God.. Oh, God! You can’t even speak Hindi now? Who gave you a visa to India? I am an Indian. No way! ‘Indian’ is a movie
starring Sunny Deol. I know that. Accha, your name means ‘nice’. Why don’t you say nice things? So, I should say nice things because my name means nice? Yes.
– Your surname is ‘Sharma’ which means shy. How come you never act shy? He’s always flirting with
the actresses who come here. When you’re flirting with them where does the shyness go?
– Right! Correct. He’s blushing now though. Don’t advise me. Learn something from Mr. Ayushmann.
– What? When someone starts making
a lot of money their head is usually
in the clouds. But look at him,
he’s made so much money still he’s grounded
with Ms. Bhumi. Mr. Ayushmann. I saw the promos of your film,
Bala. I want to give you a lotion. What lotion?
– Congratulotion. Slow clap! Where to apply the lotion? Slow clap!
– Thank you. It has gotten way better. What did you think? A hair growth lotion?
No way! I saw the promo.
You struggle so much to grow your hair I saw you applying cowdung too!
– Yes. And still the hair didn’t grow. But honestly,
after seeing all that I felt so much pity for you. I swear, if I had any money it would’ve been great. Accha,
you talk so much nonsense! You still haven’t said
anything nice to Yami. My lawyer will speak to her. Lawyer? What happened? My dad is a lawyer. Of course, he’ll speak to her
about our marriage. Oh.. When did Yami say
she wants to marry you? No.. No, she didn’t but her family is very keen that we get married. Keen!
– When did they say that? You’re lying. – No. The whole India knows about it. All parents want their daughters to marry a nice guy. And I’m Accha, which means nice! I’m Accha Yadav.
I’m the best you’ll find! No, they don’t have
any such intentions. You’re imagining things. I don’t want a nice guy. I really don’t. Aren’t you ashamed?
You’re wearing orange pants and lying! Someone might take
your pants away. Sorry for the wordplay. Not an issue. I’ll get married all alone.
– Alone? If there can be one sided love so why can’t there be
a one sided marriage? How? I will take 14 vows. Seven for myself
and seven for you. And I am going right now. Buddy, should I take some
for you as well? No issues in that. But Ms. Yami.. Let me tell you. You are letting go
of a huge opportunity. Huge indeed.
– Yes, you are huge. I am no simpleton. Let me tell you something..
Something.. What do you think of yourself?
– Special. Yes, let me tell you
something special about me. I am a rich man in London. I am wealthy! May no one ever be
as wealthy as I am! I am way rich. I have a lot of.. What do you want me to do? To mind your own business? Yes, I have a great business
empire in London. What can I say? I have great line of trade. What did you say?
– I did not get it. No.. – What..
– Various lines of trade.. No, my job is the same.
What I mean is.. I go to various sweet shops
in London and I keep the flies
away from the food. Is that what you call a job? You ask the guests
about their movie here. And yet you charge
a hefty sum. And if that is a job for you.. So what is wrong with my job? What is wrong?
– We want to know. Enough! I have heard enough
from you. You have troubled me a lot. I am leaving. I cannot stay here
any longer. Ms. Archana, what are you
doing tonight? Nothing much, I am free. So why does the channel
pay you? You can have him yapping
all day long. I make sense. I am a great man.
He has got no clue! Do you know how rich I am? Great people
call me and want to speak to me. Look I got a call. I got a call
from George Clooney. Let me speak. Hey there. You got no clue
who stole from your house? Darn it. No clue! Not an issue,
I’ll be right there. We’ll find them. I am hanging up. Sir, ma’am.. I have to go now. The helicopter is waiting. Yours? Yes, who else
is going to take me? What a weird man? I have got a special chopper
without a rotor. Without a rotor?
– Yes? How can it work
without a rotor? It has to fly
and not work. What is it? Who has seen a chopper working? What about this trinket
on your head? I will fly using this. Kapil, you have stooped
so low. Get up now. I am going now.
Thank you. I am so glad. I have to go.
– Bye! All right. Think about me!
Think about me! Alright.. I’ll be back.. And in this movie Ayushman has trouble
getting married since he is a bald man. And a lot more troubles sometimes a guy is shorter
than the girl. And the alliance is broken. So you all can share
your troubles. You all may share. What are the causes
of delay in getting married? Yes, lady. I am Nilam Soni from Mumbai.
– Nilam Soni? Yes.
– Wow! Welcome to our channel. I have a question
for you. How do I look? Tell her, Kapil. You are cute and you look
beautiful in that outfit. You said that I am lovely and yet I cannot get a match.
– Why? In some cases I understand that the guy was having
a good personality and there have been problems
in my weight. And there was a fat guy
who rejected me! Just as Ayushman said.
Matter of perspective. I pity him
for having such thoughts. Bad luck and bad sight. You are beautiful. Thank you. My mom gets depressed
and she asks me to lose weight. But I state Ms. Bhumi
as an example.. You had a movie,
‘Dam Laga Ke Haisha’.. You were so healthy
and yet he picked you up. So I say that.. Nilam, you are
beautiful. Thank you, sir. She is great. Ones who rejected you
do not deserve you. Never mind.
– Thank you, sir. You deserve the best
in your life. Thank you. I am waiting for a smart guy
like you. You’ll get someone
better than me. Why not him? Come join us on stage. Pal.. How are you? The way you carried Bhumi
in ‘Dum Laga Ke Haisha’.. I weighed 10 kgs more when I carried Bhumi. But Ayushmann carried her
in ‘Dum Laga Ke Haisha’.. Of course.
– It has been proved how strong he is.
– Yes.. Now it is Kapil’s turn!
– Kapil should carry her. Kapil should carry her!
– Kapil.. Kapil.. – Kapil.. Kapil..
– Kapil.. Hello. Sony staff..
– Mr. Sidhu. She is troubling me. Okay, I’ll call you later. Okay.. Okay, why
don’t you do this? – Seriously.. One of the songs in our movie
has become very popular. On which Ayushmann
has already performed. I see. – So on the same song.. Is it better if he performs.. What do you want? – Or do you
want Ayushmann to carry you? Do you want to get carried away?
Or do you want to dance? First ask her.
– No.. It’s better you perform. Okay.
– It’s better if he performs. It’s her choice. – Okay.
– Good. Thank you, pal..
Superb. So talented! You are gorgeous!
– Amazing. You did great.
– So sweet. – Thank you. “Buy me..” “She asks me..” I too know to dance. Yes.. – I can perform
with you as well. Tomorrow.. I will come prepared.
“She asks me..” – Sure.. Thank you, Neelam. Thank you so much..
– Thank you, sir. Please come. Any other one who wants to share their story. Yes, ma’am. My name is Rashida. – A very
warm welcome, Ms. Rashida. Thank you.
When we.. We were friends. And after that when we got
his marriage proposal.. My husband’s! So.. – Where is your husband? He is right here.. – How are
you, mister? – So sweet. Welcome, sir. So initially my parents
had refused. – I see. Saying that I look better
and more beautiful than him. I see.
– He was a little overweight and his complexion was dusky. I see. – So they didn’t
ask me for my opinion. And they rejected his proposal.
– I see. Then I shared my opinion
with my family. After they had rejected. I told them that my partner
shouldn’t be more good-looking than me. So that.. Why? – I.. What is the reason?
– Sir.. Why is that so? – Why? Because I don’t want
to roam around him. He should concentrate on me
wherever we go. And I don’t need to check
the social accounts. I.. – And.. Ma’am. You are complete opposite..
– Then.. After we rejected his proposal,
he kept trying. Through others,
he sent messages. – I see. Now he will share a few things. Hello, everyone. – Hello..
– Hello. – Hi! Hi. Well, what happened was..
I liked her and I thought I want
to marry only her. I see. – I didn’t want to see
or meet anyone else. It was like love at first sight.
– Yes, sir. Love at first sight.. – I see.
– Great. And they rejected my proposal
because of my looks. I thought that she is more
good-looking than me but it doesn’t matter.
– No, sir.. You both make a nice pair.
– Right! Yes! – So sweet. Thank you very much, sir.
This is really very nice of you. When did you get trapped? I mean when did you get married? How long have you been married?
– It’s been 10 years.. We’ve been married for 10 years.
– Ten years? And we are.. – Wow!
– …happily married now. We’re happily married. We have
a kid also. – God bless you. Thank you. Thank you, Ms. Rashida.. Thank you so much
for coming to the show. Any other friend.. Yes, mister. I saw you..
How are you? Take the mic. Hello. – Hello..
– Everybody.. – Hello. ‘Every bird’.
– Ms. Archana.. Sorry? – There is something
special about Ms. Archana. Yes. – Today, upon seeing her
sitting on the chair it feels as if she
is the queen of India. Thank you. Thank you. Wow!
– Where are you from? Delhi. – What is your name, sir?
– Rajiv. Rajiv, you are flirting
with her directly. Thank you.. Thank you so much. Thank you.. – You
must have seen her husband. He is very strong. He is my friend. – Really? Then,
I’m like your sister-in-law. She is like my sister-in-law. Your hair is greying and you’re
claiming that she is elder. Okay. Mr. Rajiv,
what do you want to say? The way he is facing problem
in finding a match because he is bald..
– Okay. The same way I faced problem due to my height.
– I see. So when I saw the girl I liked her but my parents
didn’t like her. Why is that?
– I asked what’s the problem. They said that she
is short in height. How short was she
compared to you? One foot. One foot is normal. I liked her. Then?
– Then I got angry. I fought with my parents. Wow..
– So sweet he is. Then?
– Then what happened? I said that I want to marry her. Then?
– Wow. They said, no.
– Then? Our quarrel continued
for one-two months. Okay. After that.. Mom is mom. She agreed for my sake. So sweet. He is very cute. So now are they both
in good relations or.. Yeah.. It’s been 27 years
since we married. Wow.
– Wow. Congratulations to you.
– Great. Where is she? Is she with you?
– Where is she? Hello, how are you? You both are looking
good together. So sweet. Mister is a jolly person. Does he make you laugh at home? He makes me laugh a lot. So sweet. She keeps laughing.. You keep making her laugh? Focus on your business as well. Thank you, sir for
coming on the show. Thanks a lot. Bhumi, what kind of a person
do you want as your partner? I.. I can just ask. Yeah, you can just ask.
– Yes. Kapil,
I have very simple requirements. Honestly, I think if I have
a perfect partner then he should
accept me completely including all my flaws
and all my positive attributes which I feel you will,
by the way you look at me. Oh..
– But.. At the same time, I also.. What happens is flaws..
– I just have one. I’m married, nothing else.
– Oh.. Rest is.. This rule should also change.
It shouldn’t happen.. No, it shouldn’t happen.
– Okay, sorry. Change the topic. Kapil, really?
– Okay, sorry.. Yami, whom do you want
to see as your partner? I think, it’s very simple. First is what Bhumi said that the one who accepts you just how the way you are.
– Yeah. And at the same time,
he should have the ability to inspire me. Inspire to do anything. That’s very important, I feel.
– Aspirational. I think physical..
– And should be funny. Physical attraction
is very peripheral. Yes. – Yes. – It doesn’t
last for long. – Right. Right.
– Exactly. Shah Rukh Khan said
that love is friendship. Love actually is friendship.
– Actually. Absolutely.
– Absolutely. You should be a friend. – Companionship. Yeah. It’s companionship.
– It’s companionship. Anyone else who wants to say? Yes. Hello, sir. Hey! How are you? Great. He makes great songs. Actually, I had written a song for Ayushmann. You launch all the songs
in this show only. Normally, I mean..
– It’s a good launch in TV but I do the songs here. We have your love. Thank you. What new song did you make? I have two friends to whom people call half-bald. Half-bald.
– So this is a song based on their worries.
– Okay. So I thought I will sing
it for you. Of course.
– Please, sing.. Wow.. – Wow.
– Very nice. Fantastic. Thank you, Bipin. So good.. – Thank you,
it was a great song. It’s a wonderful song.
– It’s fantastic. Thank you so much.
– Very nice.. – Thank you.. So good. Yami, Ayushmann, Bhumi,
all of you know that there are many rumors
about superstars. Many rumors. But we confirm
the same with them. We don’t believe the rumors. Yami, there’s a rumour about you that you are so fair because you mix curd
with ‘white Rasgulla’ and massage every day. Oh.. It’s a little wrong. I eat it. ‘Rasgulla’ mixed with curd?
– ‘Rasgulla’ mixed with curd? Exactly.
– Oh, wow. That’s why. No. Ms. Archana.
I’m just kidding. It’s a bad joke. I said, wow. Ms. Archana was about
to order ‘Rasgulla’. Yami eats ‘Rasgulla’.
Get half a kilogram. Ayushmann, there’s a rumour that you love experimenting
with movies that’s why, after hair your next movie is on blisters
and rashes. Oh, God! No, nothing like that. My next movie is
‘Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan’ on homosexuality. Okay,
‘Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan’. Wow.
– That’s also an experiment. Nice title.
– Great.. It’s a big experiment. Bhumi.
– Yes. There’s rumour that many times you don’t even
listen to the script. You just sign it immediately so that you can see me closely. This isn’t a rumour.
It’s the truth. It’s the truth. This line should be played
a couple of times in replay. Thanks.
I want to feel jealous my wife. I want to feel jealous.. Was it wrong?
– I want to jealous my wife. I want to make her feel jealous.
– Context was wrong as well. Yeah, the main thing. Okay. Yami, there’s a rumour that the guys who fall for you
after seeing your dimples you made one of the dimples
like this yourself. Is it this one? Wow.
– There’s just one. No, thanks to my mom and dad. Good genes.
– Did they make it like this? No, good genes. Good genes.
– Okay, good genes. But you didn’t wear jeans. Look at him.
– Your humor.. It’s okay, buddy. It happens sometimes. Keep doing it
– Sorry. and one day, all of this
will sell for crores. Oh.. Ayushmann,
there’s rumour about you that during
the shooting of ‘Bala’ so in a hurry,
you went home in the get-up and your wife said that,
Ayushmann isn’t at home. Come later. I wish I got the opportunity. We were shooting
in Kanpur, Lucknow. I didn’t get the chance
to go home. Did you shoot
the entire movie in a go? In a single flow.
– Wow. First, Kanpur then Lucknow and in 45 degree celsius,
with the prosthetics it used to take two and
a half hour to get ready and it was very tough. It’s very tough, no doubt. Bhumi,
there’s a rumour about you that you used
to tease guys in school. What? What?
– What? What? Is it true? No. No, Kapil. Take a chill, Kapil. Yami, there’s a rumour about you that you love tea so much that if find a guy
who makes good tea for you then you can even
marry that person. This is the truth.
This isn’t a rumour. So you mean, if a guy
can make great tea for you then you can marry him?
– Yeah. If he gives two biscuits
along with it and is married. I mean.. Sorry.. Now will you start
with her as well? Either give me a final response then I will know
that I have to focus here. No. No, Bhumi. This is fine. I will manage without him. She has pushed him. You will miss me. ‘Ayushmann, since you’ve shot so
many movies in Uttar Pradesh’ ‘does the government
give you salary!’ I think.. It’s true. If only it was true.
– If only.. In our country,
language changes after every 10 kilometres.
– Yes. – Yes. I can comfortably
talk in the dialects of UP I think I could contest
in the elections! – Yes! Yes. – I am serious. – I think
I could partner him. Because this is
my fifth movie and I think 4 of them
were shot in Uttar Pradesh. My wife asks me to marry
someone in Uttar Pradesh and make her my girlfriend. ‘Yami, there is a rumour that
you want Rajkummar Rao’ ‘to be cast in ‘Vicky Donor 2′
instead of Ayushmann.’ Really? – Is it a rumour
or the truth? – It’s true. Really?
– I had seen the interview. Why? – I saw him saying
he wants Bhumi to be cast. Ayushmann said so?
– Yes. – Why? She just exacted revenge.
– That’s all. I was..
– She was exacting revenge. Why did you say so?
– What did you do? I was asked who could do it
except Yami. – I see. Other than her.
– Yes. Anyone could do it. Why can’t
Bhumi do it? Of course, she can. But she shouldn’t, right?
– You may fight. T-This is what I wanted.
– Look at him! – Come back. Bring him here.
– This will be fun. – Look.. Hey..
– Hang on.. Get up, Yami. One moment..
– You should fight. – Listen.. Ayushmann, we weren’t fighting.
You should. – Yes! Exactly! All right? – Bhumi can do it.
– He is trying to act smart. Leave it be. You can work
with me. Let’s settle it. We stoop up as if the episode
was going to be over. Yes.
– Come, let’s sit. I was so nervous as if my wife
and girlfriend were fighting. But we weren’t fighting.
– Yes. We were supporting each other..
– The two of them.. This is what men do..
– What a situation! – Such men.. Absolutely.
– Men always do it. – Forced.. I was saying.. – We were
actually supporting each other. Exactly.
– Well, we support each other. I don’t want to exact
any revenge. Let me just put it. I think he
was the original and he will always
be the Vicky Donor. Yes..
– So, I think.. And nobody can replace Yami
in ‘Vicky Donor.’ – Oh.. Okay.
– Buddy.. – Buddy, I love you. I love you, too. Okay. ‘Bhumi, there is a rumour
that you have always loved’ ‘romantic movies..’ That change in your tone! ‘You had fallen in love
when you were in sixth grade.’ I want to know why rumours
about me are like I tease boys.. Exactly. – …I was in love
when I was in sixth grade. Why are you spreading rumours?
– I want to stop the rumours. Is it true?
– Yes, it’s true. It’s true.. – What happened
when you grew up! You are ignoring men when it’s
the age to fall in love. ‘Yami, there is a rumour
that you think you were a fish’ ‘in your previous life and
you do water yoga now.’ How do you do yoga in the water?
It’d be hard to breathe, right? Do you swim? I swim for 2 seconds
before I go under water. I mean I am not able
to swim for long. But it’s fun.
– You mean.. You should try it.
– Definitely. Stop it. I won’t dance today.
– Why? I won’t dance today.
– Why? Happy Diwali.
– Happy Diwali. Happy Diwali. Happy Diwali. Happy Diwali. What happened, Sapna?
– Happy Diwali. Sapna.. Diwali is over.
– Yes, Diwali is over. I couldn’t celebrate as I was
preparing for this episode! Ayushmann, I am
going to defame you! This episode is being shot
on the next day after Diwali. It will be telecasted
on Saturday. While you were preparing
for Diwali we were busy preparing
for their episode! What? I’m sorry. That’s why I gave them
the crackers. – Yes.. I couldn’t celebrate Diwali. It’s useless to me now!
– It’s.. We missed our Diwali, Kapil. Oh! This..
– That was a big fall. That’s all there is left
to happen. Why are you being so emotional? Wasn’t Akshay Kumar enough? He has 5 movies in a year. He is doing 8 in a year now! He was fine because the shooting
was early in the morning. They are making us do it
on the eve of a festival. Diwali.. Leave it be.
I was just kidding. I saw the trailer
and I enjoyed it. The movie, ‘Shubh Mangal Zyada
Saavdhan’ will be a super hit. Hey.
– It’s a great movie. Hey.. – They have come
to promote ‘Bala.’ No, I will promote ‘Shubh Mangal
Zyada Saavdhan’ today. Why? – What if they come to
promote that on Holi? Let me make this clear. I won’t
come drenched to the stage. Really? – We couldn’t even watch
the India-Pakistan game because of your promotion
last time. Don’t you remember?
Yes. Yes! Diwali is ruined. But, Sapna, isn’t it
a good thing that Ayushmann Bhumi and Yami are celebrating
Diwali together. Yes. I am a fan of these two.
They are really beautiful. I am so happy inside
to see you. Thanks. – We are happy too.
– It’s no surprise as you are a man. Hey! – Hey. – Don’t say
such things about me. I am so angry with
Ayushmann today. Why?
– I.. I don’t like Ayushmann Khurana.
I like the old Ayushmann! I am telling you. He was so nice. Sapna, he came to promote
the movie. Talk about it. Shall we go to a movie
in the evening? I spoke about the movie.
Don’t interrupt me again! I am warning you. You have come here for
promotions numerous times but you never asked me
out to a movie. You have never asked me out! I don’t like Ayushmann Khurana.
I like the old Ayushmann! Are you going to talk about
their movie? Are you going to burst
it inside my nose or what? I will talk to the heroines.
– Heroine.. Hi. How are you?
– Hi. I am good. How are you? I am great. You were
in ‘Bulls Eye’, right? – Yes. I searched for you
but I couldn’t see you. I looked from the other side
as well. The bull was furious
when it saw me. Sapna, ‘Bull’s Eye’
is the name of her movie. I see. You should have
told me earlier. I was looking
for her in the eyes of every bull in Nala Sopara. I want to ask
you something. – Yes. You had worked in ‘Dum Laga
Ke Haisha’, right? – Yes. I think that movie
was so stressful and that’s the reason
he is bald in ‘Bala.’ No, it wasn’t. I want to ask you something.
– Yes. You have a problem
in all of your movies. – Go on. In ‘Vicky Donor’.. – I didn’t
have a problem. It was a talent. No.. You were helping the ones
who had a problem. – Yes. In ‘Shubh Mangal Saavdhan’..
– I had a problem in it. You had a problem. Then it was ‘Dream Girl’..
– I didn’t have a problem. The problem arose
after mimicking a girl. Yes. – Yes.
– In ‘Badhaai Ho’ your parents had the problem.
– Yes. You do problematic movies
of all types. My guy, in Nala Sopara,
Mukesh. – Mukesh. He is my guy. He has a big problem as well. So, I think you should
do a movie based on it. We have written
the subject as well. What’s the problem?
– Blisters. He has a big blister here. We have written a script
based on it. We have also registered
the title. – What? ‘The blister on your thigh.’ Oh, God! I will let you meet him and you
will understand the subject. This movie is
based on bald men. Do a small promotion for me.
I am a very poor girl. Can you help me?
– Yes. Let me get the oil. I’ve made this oil for bald men
after watching your movie. There will be hair growth two
hours after applying the oil. After two hours?
– Yes. Sapna’s magical oil.
Use it and get rid of baldness. Massage it
to get rid of baldness. Yami, check it out.
– Get rid of baldness. Get rid of baldness.
– Are you sure, ma’am? Is it safe? Yes, this is very safe and you
can go online as well for this. Yes. We have a website
called baldy.com. Leave, Sapna.
That’s enough for today. How can I go before the massage? Yes, massage.. Actually, it’s your first
time here.. With you. – In my parlour.
– Yes, ma’am. I have a beauty parlour.
You might know. We have different kinds
of massage. – I see. We have ‘Shubh Mangal Saavdhan’
massage. What’s special about it? Shubh comes first.
– Yes. He will apply oil
on Mangal. – Okay. Then Ms. Archana is called to warn her to stay alert
as Mr. Sidhu could come anytime. Wow. Actually, it wasn’t a massage
but a warning that he can come.
– Anytime. I have another massage for you.
‘Andhadhun’ massage. I see.
– What’s special about it? The customer lies down and
I apply oil on my hands. I apply oil on my legs
and then on a big rod before massaging him recklessly. It’s awesome. There is a special massage for
you. ‘Bhumi Pendekar’ massage. How does it work?
– How does it work? We apply oil on the customer.
– Okay. We make him lie down
on the ground. – I see. We give him a pen before
completing the massage. Bhumi..
– ‘Bhumi Pendekar.’ We do such wordplay here.
– I see. Her name is Bhumi Pednekar. I will pronounce it as
Pendekar. – Why? She has ruined my Diwali.
Can’t I at least ruin her name? I will ruin it. Please clap
for the movie ‘Baal’. Sapna, this movie
is based on hair. The movie’s name is not ‘Baal’.
That is for kids. And that reminds me
you ruined Diwali, right? I will disclose your secret now. Come on, kids. Oh, wow! Who are these kids? Bala.
– Bala. Bala. This is Bala from the movie
“Vicky Donor”. This one is from
“Badhai Ho”. And this guy
is from “Dum Lage ke Haisha”. So, are they his kids?
– Yes. He has Article 15 in his kitty.
I found only three articles. Okay, even if we trust you how did these kids
get so big? Has Ayushmann Khurrana
ever done anything small? He only does big things. How do you know that
they’re all Ayushmann”s kids? I know everything. If all these kids are Bala then I’m Mrs. Bala. Oh, God! Fabulous. Sapna!
what nonsense is this? Get lost. Hey, Bala. I’m going,
I have lots to do. Your brother also comes
to us. Your own brother. Yes. Apar?
– Yes. He comes to me
to gain power. The last time
he left his power here. I’ve washed it
and kept it for drying. When he’s here again,
I”ll give it to him. Okay?
Come back again. Bye.
– Bye. – Love you. Come back soon.
– Bye. But come after
a few episodes. Are you going
to steal my job? I will sue you.
Understood? Okay, bye.
All the best for the movie.
– Bye. Come, sir. Come on. Let’s please have a huge
round of applause for Bhumi, Yami
and Ayushmann. Sir, thank you so much
for coming. Thank you.
– Thank you, Bhumi. Thank you, Yami.
– Thank you. It”s so much fun
whenever you guys come. Now, it”s time
to click a beautiful selfie. which will be taken
by Ms. Yami. Why me?
– Come on, baby. Baby?
– Baby? Please come to the stage,
Ms. Archana. Make sure you get
all of us. We”ll have to stand
on the other side. Keep the applause going
for our guests. And you all please keep smiling
keep your surroundings clean and keep watching
“The Kapil Sharma Show”. Good night.
Take care. Love you all.