Whoa. Macaulay Culkin looks worse than I thought. [ Laughter ] [ Chuckles ] You know, last year, we did Bieber, and now it’s Rob Lowe. Who’s next — Flo, the Progressive Lady? [ Laughter ] David, thanks for taking time away from waiting for Sandler to write “Grown Ups 3” to be here. [
I was home visiting my parents for a while. I don’t know if anybody feels like this, but I cannot handle my mom. She’s just too overwhelming. Like, she– Everything about her is just too much. Like, she’s always stopping people in public and trying to have these sort of jazzy moments with people. Like…
This is true, a true story. This is the true story of how I scared my wife so bad she punched me in the face. And it wasn’t an instinctual punch either. There was a pause. You don’t understand, she thought about it. It was like “Ah!” [punch sound effect] It was weird too. As
>>WELCOME BACK, WE ARE HERE WITH USHER, ALISON PILL AND JAVIER CHICHARITO HERNANDEZ. FROM THE L.A. GALAXY. JAVIER, YOUR OPENING GAME WAS THIS PATION WEEKEND. YOUR FIRST HOME GAME THIS WEEKEND. WE THOUGHT WHAT BETTER WAY TO GIVE YOU A BIT OF– PRACTICE BEFORE THE FIRST GAME.>>OKAY.>>James: SOME SHOOTING PRACTICE. SO WE HAVE A LITTLE
PAYING ATTENTION?” IT’S PRETTY SIMPLE. I’M GOING TO QUIZ MEMBERS OF OUR STUDIO AUDIENCE ABOUT THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED SO FAR IN THIS SHOW. IF THEY ANSWER RIGHT, THEY GET A PRIZE. IF THEY ANSWER WRONG, THEY HAVE TO FORFEIT THEIR SEAT TO ONE OF THE MORE DESERVING AUDIENCE MEMBERS, WAITING JUST OUTSIDE IN OUR
♪ “CELLPHONE PROFILE” ♪ >>James: LET’S HAVE A LOOK AT THE CLUES. THE FIRST CLUE IS A SONG. THIS IS A SONG RECENTLY PLAYED ON THIS CELL PHONE. LET’S HAVE A LOOK. WHAT IS IT? “ON THE ROAD AGAIN” BY WILLIE NELSON. PETE? ( UGHTER ) >>YOU COME TO ME BECAUSE YOU KNOW I’M ON
>>Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY. WE’RE BACK HERE WITH JIM CARREY.>>HI.>>Stephen: JIM, GOOD TO SEE YOU.>>HI!>>Stephen: HEY, BOY, OVER HERE. YOU’VE BEEN DOING A LOT OF PAINTINGS AND CARTOONS.>>YES. OH, I– YEAH, I MEAN, WE BOTH HAVE BEEN LIGHTHOUSE KEEPERS IN A WAY, AND THAT’S HOW I FELT THE LAST LITTLE WHILE. WE’RE LIGHTING THE CANDLE UP
(upbeat instrumental music) (light instrumental music) – Welcome to the Cozy Craft Corner. (light instrumental music) Let’s get right to the point with a fun needle felting project of an adorable little puppy. It couldn’t be an easier. Just shape the wool, and poke. (upbeat instrumental music) And there you have it. Isn’t that adorable?