“Shia LaBeouf” Live – Rob Cantor

“Shia LaBeouf” Live – Rob Cantor


You’re walking in the woods There’s no one around and your phone is dead Out of the corner of your eye, you spot him Shia LaBeouf He’s following you about thirty feet back He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint He’s gaining on you Shia LaBeouf You’re looking for your car but you’re all turned around He’s almost upon you now, and you can see… There’s blood on his face My God, there’s blood everywhere! Running for your life from Shia LaBeouf He’s brandishing a knife, it’s Shia LaBeouf Lurking in the shadows Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf Living in the woods (Shia LaBeouf) Killing for sport (Shia LaBeouf) Eating all the bodies Actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf Now it’s dark, and you seem to have lost him But you’re hopelessly lost yourself Stranded with a murderer You creep silently through the underbrush Aha! In the distance, a small cottage with a light on – hope! You move stealthily toward it… But your leg! Ah! It’s caught in a bear trap! Gnawing off your leg (quiet, quiet) Limping to the cottage (quiet, quiet) Now you’re on the doorstep Sitting inside, Shia LaBeouf Sharpening an axe (Shia LaBeouf) But he doesn’t hear you enter (Shia LaBeouf) You’re sneaking up behind him Strangling superstar Shia LaBeouf Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf Wrestling a knife from Shia LaBeouf Stab it in his kidney Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf You limp into the dark woods Blood oozing from your stump leg You’ve beaten Shia LaBeouf Wait! He isn’t dead! Shia surprise! There’s a gun to your head and death in his eyes But you can do Jiu Jitsu Body slam superstar Shia LaBeouf Legendary fight with Shia LaBeouf Normal Tuesday night for Shia LaBeouf You try to swing an axe at Shia LaBeouf But blood is draining fast from your stump leg He’s dodging every swipe, he parries to the left You counter to the right, you catch him in the neck You’re chopping off his head now You have just decapitated Shia LaBeouf His head topples to the floor, expressionless You fall to your knees and catch your breath You’re finally safe from Shia LaBeouf

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Hi, I'm Corey D'Augustine. Welcome back to In the Studio. Today, we are responding to some of the comments from

100 Replies to ““Shia LaBeouf” Live – Rob Cantor”

  1. My friend used to ask the DJ at the strip club to play it and as a gay man who built a relationship with the shot girls etc I found it endlessly hilarious xD

  2. You're walking in the woods
    There's no one around and your phone is dead
    Out of the corner of your eye you spot him:
    Shia LaBeouf

    He's following you, about 30 feet back
    He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint
    He's gaining on you!
    Shia LaBeouf
    You're looking for your car but you're all turned around
    He's almost upon you now
    and you can see there's blood on his face
    My God, there's blood everywhere!

    Running for your life (from Shia LaBeouf)
    He's brandishing a knife (It's Shia LaBeouf)
    Lurking in the shadows
    Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf!
    Living in the woods (Shia LaBeouf)
    Killing for sport (Shia LaBeouf)
    Eating all the bodies
    Actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf

    Now it's dark and you seem to have lost him
    but you're hopelessly lost yourself
    Stranded with a murderer
    you creep silently through the underbrush
    Aha! In the distance
    A small cottage with a light on
    Hope! You move stealthily toward it
    but your leg! Ah! It's caught in a bear trap!

    Gnawing off your leg (Quiet, quiet)
    Limping to the cottage (Quiet, quiet)
    Now you're on the doorstep
    Sitting inside: Shia LaBeouf
    Sharpening an axe (Shia LaBeouf)
    But he doesn't hear you enter (Shia LaBeouf)
    You're sneaking up behind him
    Strangling superstar Shia LaBeouf!

    Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf
    Wrestling a knife from Shia LaBeouf
    Stab him in his kidney
    Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf
    You limp into the dark woods
    blood oozing from your stump leg
    But you have won; you have beaten
    Shia LaBeouf…

    Wait! He isn't dead (Shia surprise)!
    There's a gun to your head and death in his eyes
    But you can do Jiu Jitsu
    Body slam superstar Shia LaBeouf

    Legendary fight with Shia LaBeouf
    Normal Tuesday night for Shia LaBeouf
    You try to swing an axe at Shia Labeouf
    But blood is draining fast from your stump leg

    He's dodging every swipe, he parries to the left
    You counter to the right, you catch him in the neck
    You're chopping off his head now!
    You have just decapitated Shia Labeouf!

    His head topples to the floor, expressionless
    You fall to your knees and catch your breath
    You're finally safe from Shia Labeouf…

  3. Loving the plank move, to date the video for those of us keeping track of the foolish shit we did in past-tense Vine-life. Respect the Meghalayan stage of the Holocene epoch, pastebois.

  4. Just imagine pitching this to Shia Labeouf

    Shia: So what's it about?
    Rob: Well its a story about you.
    Shia: Ok I like-
    Rob: hunting and eating people in the woods
    Shia:
    Rob:
    Shia: I love it

  5. It’s been years since the first time I watched this. I was laying in bed and suddenly bam I started thinking about this and now I can’t stop watching it

  6. There’s a mod for Skyrim and I think Fallout 4 as well where if you get a sneak attack kill it will say “Shia surprise!”

  7. Petition to make this the opening song for an entire musical about some guy who’s haunted by the ghost of Shia LeBeouf?

  8. I had forgotten about this masterpiece.
    Only reason I remembered is because I was scrolling through the monster list on D&D Beyond and saw that someone actually made Actual Cannibal Shia LeBeouf into a D&D monster.

  9. When he was on Ellen talking about how there’s a rumor that he’s a cannibal… all that I could think about was this song. 😂

  10. I weep for humanity. Five thousand years from now an Archaeologist will determine from this video that 2014 was the Year of the Cannibal and will be burned for their heresy.

  11. Shia LaBeouf slowly walks towards you, his eyes fiery with anger, you hear him yell. "HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US!! HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US!! HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US!!"

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