1 Big RED Flag In Dating – Why Guys Pull Away

1 Big RED Flag In Dating – Why Guys Pull Away


Hey. It’s Clayton Olson. In this video, I’m going to talk about one
big red flag to pay attention to when you are dating, whether you are a man or a woman,
and also whether you are the one that is portraying this red flag, or whether you are the one
receiving it, this video is for you. Here’s a question I got from somebody who’s
been watching my videos for a while. It was a girl who went on a date or several
dates with a guy and this is what she sent me: “Hey, Clayton. What happens when it is him, the one who seems
to be crazy for you immediately after the first date, he wants to take you here or there. He wants you to be a big fan of his crappy
bands, or sports, or his favorite restaurants. And then a couple dates later, he’s not into
you anymore. He pulls away. He doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore,
so he has the right to chase and create expectations and then just leave and leave the girl with
all the question of what happened here?” Well, although it’s a sh*tty thing to have
happen, he does have the right to do that. That is dating. People get into things and then they change
their mind. Is it acceptable gentlemen behavior? Is it high integrity behavior? Probably not and you’re going to come across
people that are playing this pattern out and it is your job to approach this in a way where
you are also not playing the reciprocal of this pattern. What is this pattern that’s actually happening
here? Well, what’s happening is this man is suddenly
wanting to just immerse you in his life. He’s wanting you to be a fan of all of these
different things and what it probably does – what it probably makes you feel is incredibly
special. It probably makes you feel unique. And here’s the problem, he doesn’t know you
well enough to actually witness your specialness yet. So, why is he doing this? Well, it’s because he’s not actually in relation
with you he’s relation. He’s in relationship with a fantasy of what
it is that he wants. He is interacting with a fantasy he’s not
actually interacting with you. You are merely a placeholder in which he is
interacting with that fantasy. So, what this means is that if he’s the one
who’s not actually connecting with you and he’s got all these grandiose ideas of how
amazing the relationship is going to be before he even knows who you are, before he even
knows whether or not the two of you are compatible, it’s important that you don’t fall into the
same trap and fall into the same trap is also buying into your own fantasy of what you think
this could be. Because that’s where the problem occurs, it’s
not that he is necessarily manipulating you or maybe he is unintentionally. But you manipulate yourself, when you allow
yourself to buy into the same game that he’s playing with himself which is falling in love
with this idea, or let’s just say, falling into a trance or into lust of this idea of
having this relationship with a guy only after the first or second or third date. Now of course it’s romantic. Of course, it feels good. And it’s a beautiful experience but again
it can lead to a lot of pain if we’re not grounded. If you are coming across men that are playing
this pattern or if you’re a guy coming across a women that are playing this pattern, it’s
really important to check yourself to find your feet underneath you, to find your butt
underneath you, and to be grounded in the present moment into reality [or] into the
place where you don’t really know who this person is yet, and you’re not going to get
seduced by the possibility of what could be but rather you’re gonna get to know this person
in a way that allows you to appropriately open up to them so that you are not creating
expectations in your mind that you are getting seduced by. That are then the opening for him to end up
indirectly or sometimes directly manipulating you. So, how do you do that? Well, number one you’ve got a shatter and
begin to let go of this idea of this fantasy that you’re falling in love with that is a
perfect match for what he’s doing. And realize that your timing and moving along
at a time that feels comfortable for you is incredibly important in it’s self honoring. And sometimes women say to me, “Well, look
if he’s got this certainty of something and he’s wanting to move things along quickly,
I don’t want to be the one holding it back and then him all this and find somebody else
that he wants to be with because they’re more open well.” Here’s what I say to that, “Screw that. Screw that. If this guy is a high quality man or this
woman is a high quality person, they are going to respect your timing. And they’re gonna want you to feel safe every
step of the way. And if they’re too than their own crap and
they’re taking it personally that you’re not moving as quickly as them, that is a clear
red flag that that dynamic of them taking your boundaries personally will probably play
out in the relationship as well and it’s just gonna become a bigger problem that you have
to deal with. So, if you’ve enjoyed watching this video
and you are looking for a way to create the foundation to create rock-solid relationships
in your life I’ve got a guide called the 8 Secrets To Create A Rock-Solid Relationship
that is right below this video in the description. Click on it. Enter your email and I’ll get it right to
your inbox. Thanks for watching.

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *